The Slowest Person

So heres something I've never realized - Im slow. No, not in a helmet and drool kind of way! In a emotionally developed kind of way.

The phrase "Move at the pace of the slowest person" is a very important aspect of going poly, because it puts everyone on the same level. While one member of a poly-family may have been practicing  for years they can never forget that others are new to it. I am now considered the "slowest person," which was brought to my attention, lovingly, by Fox and John. 

Its no surprise to anyone that I am a little jaded. Using past relationships as a guideline for new relationships has made me very wary of becoming too attached to someone. Another good phrase comes to mind; "People will never live up to the expectations in your head, and you will never live up to theirs." We hold others to high in our minds. We expect them to be the best and to never hurt us, either intentionally or otherwise. 

Why is this important? Why am I okay with being the slowest person? Because I learned a very valuable lesson this week in honesty. Fox had brought home a new beau (Ive hinted at him but Im not ready to tell the whole story now) and I had a jealous fit. Like a five year old with a glandular problem, I am not ready to share my toys. Besides, I thought, I share him enough. Theres John and James, plus a host of minions (more on that later) and various friends. And why should he feel the need to go out and find someone new, arent I enough right now? 

Its not about new or enough. Its about being happy with oneself. I get that, but that doesnt mean I m ready to accept it right now. 

So they informed me that I am slow. And that they would slow down too in order for me to become more confident and secure in this new rush of emotions and feelings.

Another good quote comes to mind. "Its a good thing" - Martha Stewart (Not a hero, FYI)