So I think I may have lied to everyone - I have been in one other Poly relationship before. It wasnt until I began writing this that I realized it.
Back in '03, when I lived in Southern Maryland, I took a part-time job at a local video store. I was 16(ish) and my friend was able to get me a job with her being a clerk. Working with us was Ant, a 27 year old metal head covered in ink and piercings. I feel instantly in lust with him and tried my best to get him to sleep with me. But he wouldnt touch a 16 year old (and with my history, who would?).
Eventually we became friends. We partied after work, hung out in groups, and ended up sleeping together after a drunken night (I was now 17). Things went well at first except for his constant reminders that he was bisexual and he couldnt just be with a guy. So he started sleeping with a coworker named Rachael too. I accepted it, because it meant that I would still see him and get what I needed out of the relationship.
Except that I didnt. Eventually he stopped asking me to spend the night, stopped calling as much, stopped being there for me. On my 18th birthday he got me incredibly high and drunk, then informed me that he wasnt really into guys anymore and I had to go. I quit my job shortly thereafter.
Last I heard, they were living together - probably married with kids. Its been over 5 years and I still resent him for it.
Maybe thats why I am so apprehensive about becoming Poly. Experience teaches a lot about where we've come from and where we're going. From my experience, no matter how you feel about someone, things are not permanent. You are replaceable and returnable.
Hopefully that feeling will change over time.
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